Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
