He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
