It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
