Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
