I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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