Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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