We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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