Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
