Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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