hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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