I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
