I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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