Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He has the fingertips of a God
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
