i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
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The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
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I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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