Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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