If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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