Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize