sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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