Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
