just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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