lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
