I'm jealous of your bromance
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
