There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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