life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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