can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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