I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize