So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
My cat gives me a boner
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
