You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
