You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
