chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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