my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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