So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
