I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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