as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
