That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
