u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
