I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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