And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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