i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
