what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
