I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize