I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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