3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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