She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We don't watch enough power rangers
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
