so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
