if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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