He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
