Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize