i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
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Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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