I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
