I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
