whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
