video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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