Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
