everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
