The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
