does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
