One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
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he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
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I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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